BLUES LOSE AT POMPEY

Everton: Howard, Jacobsen, Jagielka, Lescott, Baines, Neville, Osman, Pienaar, Felliani, Jo, Saha

Bench: Gosling (Jacobsen), Rodwell (Jo), Nash, Castillo, Wallace, Baxter, Agard

Referee: Peter Walton aka Les Battersby

Having just about recovered from the euphoria of Thursday night’s Hall of Fame Dinner at the Adelphi, we had to embark on our longest trip of the season, 500 mile round trip to Pompey. What a night Thursday night was, Big Dunc along with most Toffeemen in the room shed a tear during his emotional speech, it was undoubtedly the best yet – well played Snaggy, Tommy Birch & Roger – PLEASE do not make this the last one! It gave us plenty to talk about on the long journey, Blue Bill, Tony Kay, Rhino, Diamond Geezer, Howard forgetting he was presenting Dunc, Ernie Hunt bladdered and wearing a red wig but most of BIG Dunc, unbelievable!

So the luverly SKY had decided that for our longest journey they would give us a 12.45 kick off, where do they get their ideas from? Probably the FA!

This on the face of it was a tricky fixture. Whilst we owed them one for the 3-0 defeat at Goodison, which was one bizarre result given the balance of play that day, but Pompey are just above the relegation zone and playing for their Premiership future. The Toffee’s on the other hand had not won away since Boxing Day and we needed the 3 points to put pressure on Villa and The Arse so plenty to play for. We had heard that Timmy was not in the frame and knew Joey was out so what would Moyesy do? It was a debut for ‘alright ‘der’ Lars Jacobson at right back, The Jag and Roger in the middle, in midfield it was Fella & Nev in the middle and Jo plus King Louis up front, so 4-4-2, Moyesy was going for it.

In the middle was Les Battersby look-a-like Peter Walton. The sun was shining on the south coast, it was like a summers day and the Toffeemen were there in force, in fact we were bladdered when we got there – still from the Hall of Fame! We had the perfect start. After a good period of early possession Distin fould King Louis on the edge of the box and Bainsey stepped u to the plate having taken over the mantle in the absence of the best little Spaniard we know. Now Bainsey hit the bar from a similar positon last week so expectations were high and Hayley did not let us down. He left wavy Davy routed to the spot as he bent it round the wall and inside the right hand post. Just 3 minutes gone and the Toffeemen were dancing, long journey, sun, Stella, mental celebration – my head hurts!

With the Blues on top and playing well, Les Battersby came up with his first howler. Peanuts was clattered from behind by one of Pompey’s big bruiser’s, Jeez they are a big side, this time it was the right back, the result was just a ticking off. His next howler proved more costly. Johnson had a shot from way out, it nearly killed a seagull on the beach and Walton claimed that it had come off Bainsey. From the resultant corner the ball was knocked back into the box, Lars was easily outjumped by Johnson and the Freak outjumped Roger to nod in the equaliser.

Walton continued his howlers booking Ossy for a foul on Nugent when it looked like he got the ball. Next we saw the ugly side of Jo, from a neat move down the right the ball fell to him unmarked on the edge of the box with only Wavy to beat. He looked up, saw Coco between the sticks and pulled his shot well wide of the post, it was a shocker. Jo had so many options it was embarrassing to see the final result, not even forcing a save, he needs to do far more to get us looking for his signature.

King Louis tried the spectacular just before half time trying a scissor kick from a Lars cross, it looked good but went wide. Two minutes added time went without incident and we went in all square when really we should have been in front and the worrying thing was that Pompey were upping their game. Moyesy needed to work some half time magic.

HALF TIME 1-1

We have a phrase, ‘The Toffeemen never let you down’, sure enough, the second half was to epitomise the phrase. Must win game for Champion’s League challenge, must outfight Pompey as they are fighting relegation, must not lose, Toffeemen have been up since 6am for a 500 mile round journey so they must perform. Guess what? Second half, remember the half-time concerns? We never heeded them, we were poor, in fact poor is possibly too good for the description, FOR FUCK’s SAKE POMPEY WERE UP FOR THIS! Why weren’t we? We were shite in the second half, King Louis did not look fit, Jo tried hard after realising his 1st half howler could dent his future wage packet, Ossy was Ossy (Moyesy’s face after one free kick was a picture), Lars got subbed because after 8 months up to his debut he still looks like he enjoys Chinese Takeaways and more to the point he did not excel on his debut. But who did?

Toffeeman Nugent was subbed for Kanu after just over an hour, at the time it looked like a strange decision, 5 mins later, we were behind. Unbelievely we left the Freak unmarked from a corner, he ran from the edge of the box and outjumped Saha to head the winner. I say the winner because despite 15 mins to go we had been so poor it was difficult to see a way back, guess what? There wasn’t. Herman could have been sent off for elbowing Fella but we were clutching at straws.

How fuckin’ disappointing? If you look at the run in’s for Villa, The Arse and ourselves, ours is by far the easiest, starting today but with the Pompey crowd behind them they saw out what was in the end an easy victory, they even hit the post with 10 mins to go, we just caved in. Bitter disappointment. Super Dan came on for Lars or Lard but to no avail.

Final whistle from Les and we’d lost, a few shockers today, in no particular order really, unless you want to read into this, Ossy, Lars, Fella, Louis, Peanuts, Jo and Roger. Blue Kipper Star Man was Phil Neville, never gave in and kept on trying despite this very bad day at the races. Ah well, two weeks rest, get Timmy back and get back on to winning ways against the Pie Eaters but it now looks like UEFA Cup again next year. COYB FTRS

Full Time 2-1